How to make the insane take their medication
by YunieRyou
Summary: Those crazy bishies, Malik and Bakura need taming. A guide to shove that pill down their throat and make them do as you please.


How to get the insane to take their medication

A one shot By YunieRyou

This is the easy steps written by me, Yunie Ryo, on how to shove that large green pill down the throats of the demonic duo, Malik and Bakura.

Yes, Bakura and Malik are as insane as insane can get. But how do you tame someone so crazy and demonic? This is where I step in. I know all about Bakura and Malik and what makes them tick. So I also know how to make them take their medication.

**Step one:**

Don't let them know you've got plans to spoil their evil fun. Act as if nothing is wrong. If you must, go along with their crazy little game of world domination. Argue with them that the shadow realm isn't all that scary, and tell them you got some dead bodies in your closet that they ought to see. Hopefully, they'll either be delighted and rush off to inspect the killing, or will eye you suspiciously. Depends on how good you are at acting. But I must warn you, if you fail at persuading them nothing is wrong, your plans of shoving a large green pill down their throat is not going to end well.

**Step two:**

Get them to settle down. Give them a toy to play with, maybe a butcher knife and some mice. This is their idea of Biology, don't get in the way. If they're not in the mood to play biology, give them some firecrackers and water. Not like they'll use the water if they catch something on fire, we just like to give it to them in an offset chance they decide to end their torment sooner then later. Once you have them calmed down, giving them their pills wont be so hard.

**Step three:**

Feed them. Simply put. Bakura likes his sandwiches with no crust, make sure you take note of this, because if you forget he might throw it at you and curse up a storm about how he wants to send you to the shadow realm. After this, break out the hot sauce and pour the WHOLE bottle in his mouth. Trust me, a few drops won't stop him from cursing, heck I think he enjoys you pouring hot sauce in his mouth. It's better then the crust on his sandwich. Malik likes his with no meat, lattice and tomatoes is all he likes. Nothing else. If you give him ham, chicken or even mayonnaise, he too will curse you, then try to take over your mind. Be careful with him. He's not afraid to make you jump out a window.

**Step four:**

Nap time. Make sure that Bakura has his stuffy wuffy Mr. Diabound. He can't sleep without him. It's his evil little pet, and he takes him where ever he goes…sadly. Malik must have his heavy metal music, mostly System of a Down or Mudvayn. Anything that has screaming. Bakura enjoys this music as well, so make sure you have it, or you'll be the one doing the screaming. While they are sleeping, ready their pills. This is the best time to make them take it. Once you have the pills ready, get ready to be as sneaky as you can be.

**Step five:**

Now, comes the hardest step of them all. You have to remove their millennium items. This is hard, because they hide them before they go to sleep. Bakura tends to shove his ring down his pants. Keeping it warm? I think not. It's his little game of hide and seek. He hides it, you seek it. You find something you weren't looking for.

Malik hides his under his pillow. Not that hard to find. The trick is, moving the pillow without waking the little demon. You want to take these away, because if they should wake up in the middle of you trying to shove a pill down their throat, you don't want to be mince meat.

**Step six:**

Don't be afraid. They can sense fear and will wake up to see what's causing it. Make sure you've hidden their items in a good spot. Anywhere they might not go, like maybe a doll house, or your bunny cage. Heck, if you must, get a box and write : The power of love , all over it. They wont go near it. Alright, tilt their heads back, and open their mouths. Resist the urge to frantically make out with them and shove the pill into the back of their throat. They should swallow instantly, if not, then I see no problem in giving mouth to mouth to blow it down. Heh heh.

**Step seven:**

This is the end of the processes. After they wake up from their nap, they should look like their hikari's. But be careful, they aren't their hikari's, just tamed for a good five hours. But be warned, five hours isn't that long. It isn't long at all. So, do what you please with them until the pills wear off. Make them do arts and crafts, or blackmail them by making them wear a dress and taking pictures. They will be so out of it, they'll do anything you ask.

I must say, I myself have at least a drawer full of blackmailing pictures. It's a wonderful way of getting what you want. But remember, you must go in this order with the steps. If not, so long, and fair well.


End file.
